A Mother’s Story — News and Views - New England and NorthWest

The interview below is about a Mother’s story of her experience homeschooling her two children.

Interview Transcript

(ML) Megan L, (M) Mother

ML: Your son is homeschooled. How did that come about?

M: Well, I have four children and the first two went through school kind of with no issues at all. One even excelled. And then my third, my son, he hated school from the beginning. Just hated, hated kindergarten, hated all of it. He had friends, he had lots of friends. He could do the work. He was really bright and he was in the Math class, so he was switched on. But I think his problem was almost he was too switched on. And he could see that a lot of the stuff that he was getting taught was useless, therefore he didn't want to go and he didn't want to learn it. Saying that he could learn more sitting at home or watching something or just talking about it, he just didn't think that sitting in a classroom for all those hours being told what to do, was useful to him.

So then it just escalated and we went into year seven and that was a massive drama because I enrolled him in one school thinking that that's where he should be, and then we end up pulling him before it even started and putting him into the school was in. But then he ended up going into one of the lower classes, which obviously he was, and I mean low, like low, and that was just horrendous. So then he didn't want to be there at all, so I had to make phone calls and tell them, no, he doesn't belong there. Look, he came out of this class. He needs to be in the high class. So they had a chat and then eventually moved him into the high class. But he'd already missed a whole term now, so then he's stressing and his anxiety was all like, really high. And then he just all of a sudden didn't want to go because he couldn't handle the pressure of what they were putting on with all the extra homework and the assignments and all that sort of stuff. So then when he gets anxious, he gets like IBS type thing and it just gets really bad. Like really bad. And he was extremely sick, so then he'd just constantly be throwing up in the toilet, so then he couldn't go for that, so then he was missing big chunks because of that, so he'd obviously be home.

So I'd tell the school, and the school was really unimpressed, and I got into the point where they were calling us in for meetings, and then we started getting the letters, if you need to go. So I went back in and I told him. I said, look, he can't this is causing him so much anxiety. And they were good to the point that they said, how can they help? Can we do this? Can we do that? But by that stage, it was too late. It was just too late.

And with the whole COVID thing as well, like when they were learning at home. And some kids excelled with that, and they love sitting there and they go on because they were just like, this is my routine, this is what I do. But not my son. To him, that was like, I don't like this. I can't take direction properly. I can't do this properly. So it's not that he couldn't do it because he's so bright, it's just that, I don't know, he liked the structure was not right, was not right for him. So that messed that all up too. And then we had the lockdowns and then the mask wearing and all that. It was so overwhelming. And I know that he's not the only kid that was overwhelmed by going to school with them asks and trying to listen to the teachers. And then you can't breathe. They'd come home and they'd rip it off and they'd just feel suffocated for the whole day. And it was horrible, horrible watching them go through that. So during this whole time, I had looked into Homeschooling and just started researching myself. What do I have to do? Where do I have to go? Who do I have to talk to? Bit by bit, until I knew that he was at the place where he just said, I've had enough, pull me out.

So then we enrolled into the program and we started with that. It was a little bit tricky, but with them, they have everything. Like, they have all the documents and stuff, so they take you through it step by step. See, not on your own. So it's not overwhelming. So that's why we picked that program. There is a fee, but I think it's a reasonable fee. It's way less than like a private school fee. I think it's maybe $20 a week. And they have the whole thing, like the whole program, each lesson, what to do. You can contact them, email them, ring them, whatever you want whenever you're having trouble. Then at the end of it, they'll compile it all together, they hand it into the department, and then you have your little interview and it's all finished. So for now, that's what we're doing. That's how we'll do it. Yeah. So that's how homeschooling came about.

ML: Your daughter is unhappy at school, but it wasn't always the case. What happened?

M: It's, trying to think what happened. Actually, she was happy in primary, had lots of friends. She's always quiet. She's just one of those really very quiet little children. But then I guess I was the same, so I never looked at it and went, there's something wrong. Like, I was quiet too. So I just went, and she's like, me, and then,you know, so she for her, the COVID area was year six, but that didn't really affect her too much. She didn't mind. She was one of those ones, yeah, I can sit down at the computer at home and I can do stuff. So it didn't affect her. She went back to school. It was okay.

Then she went into high school, and I think because it was so big and every class has a different teacher, and sometimes even the kids in your class aren't even the same. Like, it just mixes out. I think for her, being such a quiet person, it was just overwhelming. It was just too much. And even though she got put in a roughly good class, like, sort of top, but not top of the class of the year, so she had a good range. But then she ended up with a handful of the kids that don't want to learn, and they jumped around the classrooms, they yelled out, so then my daughter would come home and she'd get upset about that and, well, it's not much we can do. Hopefully teach will get on to it, blah, blah. But even then, it was still too much. So that was disrupting her learning, and it was too full on. And I think in between, when she had that covert era where you were learning don't even know how to say this nicely.

They dumbed the learning down, and it was just, here's a few booklets for you to go through. But then as soon as they get to for her, the transition from primary to highschool was a massive transition in learning. So while it was dumbed down for primary, like, here,you can do this at home, this will be easy. High school just went gung ho and went, okay, this is what we're doing. We're straight back into it. So it was almost like they missed a whole year of learning somewhere in between. So it was really hard for a lot of kids, not just her, to pick up that part where they've missed out, they didn't understand. And you'd tell the teacher, look how they understand. The teacher didn't like, well, read the board, read your book, do this. We are reading it, but it's not clicking in. She couldn't do that. I don't know. It didn't make the connections for her. She's more of a I need to sit down and listen and visual and a little bit more needed a little bit more help.

So anyhow, she also had a lot of body type issues, joint issues, which we're exploring right now. And so she would be home a little bit with that. Or she couldn't do sport, or she'd have to sit out and the physio would tell, here's a letter, don't do this, don't do that. So she would kind of get picked on by the teachers. Why aren't you doing that? She'd say, well, I've got this letter. Well, I don't see why you can't do this anyway. You should be able to do it. So she'd get up, she'd do it, and then she'd come home, she'd be sore, they shut up and won't go to school the next day. So that continued for pretty much all of year seven. Towards the end of year seven, she wasn't interested really at all. I think we missed just the last two full weeks of school. And I just went, Whatever.

By this stage, her brother was homeschooled. And I said, do you want to do it? And she said, no, I don't want to do it. I just want to go near it and see if it's better, if the teachers are better, if the class is better. So I said, okay, that's fine. Kept showing her what her brother's doing, and this is how it works, if you're interested, just remember it's still there in the background if you need it. So she went into your eight, started that was okay, and then had an accident, broke her arm, her hand, I should say, end up in a plaster. So more physio letters, more doctor letters. She can't do this, she can do this, she can't do this. But the teachers kept telling her that she can. You can write your work. No, she can't. She's got a cast on her dominant hand. She can't write a work. So she tried it with her right hand. So then she'd get pulled out. Well, that's really messy. We can't read that. Well, that's all she can do. So no one came and sat with her? No one did it. You'd ask for can she just take sheets home? No, we're not providing sheets for her. She has to write it down. Or can she take a photo of it? No, she can't take a photo of it. She can't have a phone. Well, how's she going to learn this? So she'd come home, she'd be in tears again. She wouldn't want to go. She especially didn't want to go on days where there was PE or sport because she couldn't do anything. Not that. What could she do? I don't know what she could do.

So in particular, her science teacher had a massive problem with her for some reason, not being able to write things down. There was so much to write down. Photocopy the sheet and give it to her to glue and a book. It's not hard, just do that. But he didn't want to do that. So she sat in a class and had a head down because she was over it. She was frustrated. And then he just honed in on her and said, you need to do this work. She said, I can't do the work. I can't write down my hands hurting. I'm aching. So he then just went on.

The phone rang. Another teacher. Teacher came in, had a chat to her, said, well, if you're not going to do work, you can go out. So pulled her out of the class and sat her in the hallway. Now, at this stage, she had pulled her phone out, and I don't really care. She started messaging me, telling me she was in the hall. She was sitting outside a classroom. She was crying, she was bawling. She was messaging another friend, who was also messaging me, what's going on? Why is she sitting in the hallway crying? Because they pulled her out. What'd she do? Nothing. She did nothing. She just didn't do what they wanted her to do. She couldn't write. They couldn't help her. She sat there for the whole lesson before the teacher was allowed. She was allowed to go back in and get a bag and leave.

I ran the school that afternoon, and I said, I want to talk to him. I want to find out why. And then he didn't answer me. So the day after, the school rang twice. I had two missed calls. One looked like he left a message, but if you go into it, the whole message was blank. And I'm like, Why? You didn't even leave a message. So I thought, well, I'll email you. I wrote it all down. And I questioned, why was she pulled out? She's a quiet student. I know she didn't cause problems. Was she a problem to the class? Was she a problem to you? Was she a threat? Why did you pull her out? What did she do? And he never answered me. He never called. He never emailed. There was no answers. And now every time she has a science lesson, he just glares at her. She does her best to try and write. Her cast is off, so she'll write down what she can. And I said, do what you can. If you can't do it, you can't do it. That's the end of it. And now she barely wants to go and probably homeschool her eventually. I don't know. I don't know. I'm at a loss.